Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
