So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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