2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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