I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So vagazzling was a success
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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