I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
