If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
