His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So vagazzling was a success
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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