That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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