He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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