i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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