haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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