id be glad to
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
