i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
