I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
