how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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