I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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