Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
