We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
