i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
