i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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