worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
