white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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