just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she smelled like a LAN party
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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