Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
