i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
