remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
