Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
