who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
