just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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