i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
