Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
