spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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