What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
