giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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