good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize