you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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