She is in my trunk
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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