I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
