I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
