I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
