Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
