he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
