Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
