why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
