Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I currently don't understand fingers.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
