end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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