all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
