we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
