he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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