I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
