i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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