Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Holy shit dude........stairs
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
