Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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