Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
