i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
