Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she smelled like a LAN party
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
