weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
