Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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