Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
