hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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